13 RESULTS FOR: Rita Rudner
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita RudnerBefore I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita RudnerI was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Rita RudnerIn Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita RudnerMy husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita RudnerMost turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita RudnerI was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita RudnerI wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita RudnerI got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita RudnerMy mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
Rita RudnerSomeday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita RudnerWhen I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with'
Rita RudnerNeurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.