54 RESULTS FOR: Woody Allen
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
Woody AllenEighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody AllenInterestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.
Woody AllenI had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody AllenIf you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody AllenMore than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody AllenDying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody AllenIt is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody AllenNothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody AllenWhen I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody AllenI don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody AllenShould I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
Woody AllenThe good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody AllenMoney is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody AllenI am at two with nature.
Woody AllenLife is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody AllenI will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead.
Woody AllenI call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, and receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
Woody AllenIt's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody AllenI took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody AllenOn the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Woody AllenThe great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
Woody AllenAt the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.
Woody AllenBasically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody AllenThought Why does man kill He kills for food. And not only food frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody AllenLove is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Woody AllenWhy are our days numbered and not, say, lettered
Woody AllenWhat if everything is an illusion and nothing exists In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody AllenEternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody AllenI tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody AllenHow can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter
Woody AllenHow is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size
Woody AllenHis lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody AllenAs the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody AllenI can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody AllenI'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody AllenI was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody AllenIt is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
Woody AllenIf only God would give me some clear sign Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
Woody AllenIf it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody AllenIt seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody AllenThe government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Woody AllenNot only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Woody AllenOrganized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Woody AllenMost of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody AllenLife is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody AllenStudents achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Woody AllenMy one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody AllenThere are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman
Woody AllenThe lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody AllenTo you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody AllenWhen I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody AllenWhat if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists
Woody AllenYou can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.